From your dearest grandson..
Last Saturday, I was jolted awake from my sleep early in the morning with the sudden news that my grandpa (thatha) had fallen down and injured himself badly for the second time in as many weeks. This time the fall had rendered him unconscious and I rushed to his house in Besant Nagar at 6 AM. Neighbors had helped him out and he was on bed with a doctor attending to a deep gash in his head. My grandma (paati) was near him and me, my mom and my dad were all keeping a close eye. An ambulance was summoned and we had Thatha admitted to the nearest hospital in our area. I waited outside the emergency area where we got the good news that he had returned to consciousness and was able to recognize people and things. There was further good news when the scans revealed that no major internal injuries were found. After a 3 hour check up, Thatha was shifted to his room where he lay half awake, weak and unable to speak. After a short while he was served some food and when he was taking rest, I decided to drive back home and take a quick nap.
On my way back home and once inside the house, I just lay silently as 20 years of memories locked in the deepest parts of my mind came rushing through. Every little thing about my time with Thatha and their lovely house in Besant Nagar came flashing through like a movie. The minutest of details and the conversations all came back to life. I really curse myself sometimes for having this ability to remember events and conversations in such graphic and vivid style. In moments like this one, it made me uncontrollably emotional as I realized that here was a 90 year old man, my very dear Delhi Thatha as I called him, who was now reduced to a shadow of his former self - the Thatha I knew from 15-20 years back. The scenes running through made me cry in the solitude of my room and I felt that I should let this happen - let the emotion take over.
My earliest memories of 'Delhi' Thatha - its a name that I gave him because he lived in Delhi from the time I knew, were from 1987. It was the year when my mom had come down to Chennai for a hernia operation and I was staying at my grandparents place in Delhi's Sheik Sarai locality. They took such great care of me and doted me with so much love and affection that when my mom came back to Delhi after the operation I was asking her who she was. Its a story that is retold even today when we all get together in the family and talk about the Delhi days. After that my dad got a transfer to Chennai in the summer of 1988 and it was followed by the retirement of Delhi Thatha from his long and distinguished service in 1989 after which he also came down to his house in Chennai, Besant Nagar. It was a moment of great joy for me since they were my 'preferred' grandparents and I was their 'pet' grandson. I was thrilled and elated upon their arrival and I clearly remember bugging and pestering my mom to take me to their house the moment they arrived from Delhi.
My next most unforgettable memory of Delhi Thatha was his fiat Premier Padmini car that I would get into at the least given opportunity and go for a drive. Thatha was an outstanding driver with an enormous level of concentration. And I would sit in his front seat and silently observe the way he used to drive so skillfully. I would never forget the car because in 1989 when my other grandpa (dad's father) passed away, it was Delhi Thatha who broke the news to me and my brother. He told us that something had taken place and we would no longer be seeing 'Madras' Thatha (the name because he had lived in Madras ever since I knew). I did not understand what he meant and I clearly remember sitting in the Fiat car on the way to the flat asking him a zillion questions about what happened to the other Thatha. Over the next day, as Madras Thatha's funeral was being conducted, I realized the enormity of what had happened and developed high fever and severe vomitting. It was 'Delhi' Thatha who carried me on his then broad shoulders as I was sobbing uncontrollably and took me in his arms and cajoled me for hours on end. Whenever I looked back at this incident, the one thing that struck me was the mental fortitude and strength that he possessed. Madras Thatha also happened to be his close friend for many many years at the Presidency College in Chennai. The way he handled and kept his emotions to himself during the course of such a loss astounded me then and even now.
Delhi Thatha is a man of principles. I can safely say that he has never spoken a lie ever and is the most principled man that I have ever come across. I have heard tales of his work ethic and unflinching commitment to his job from my mom. He would never take a single day off from work in spite of all the threats from the dakus of the Chambal Valley and report to work at the construction site of the government irrigation dam. Such a thing was unheard of but that was Thatha. He could be strong as a mountain in the gravest of times. He is also a very devout person. He is an expert at Vedas and I remember the volumes of texts and cassettes at his table, the notes that he used to so diligently take in his post retirement life which he devoted to the study of the Vedas and Upanishads.
The one thing that we both love is cricket. Back in the 1990's, Thatha was one of the first few people to have cable televison at their homes. This meant all the cricket matches anywhere in the world were beamed live in your living room. Whenever there was a match, he knew that his dearest grandson would come dashing down well in advance before the first ball was bowled. He knew it was me at the door and would immediately have my favorite chair ready. We watched so many matches together, in particular the summer tournaments that happened in Sharjah, Singapore and the tournaments in Toronto. In fact, in the later years when I started watching cricket matches with my friends in school and college, my mom used to tell me that Delhi Thatha would call once in a while and ask if I was coming over to see the match. I just wish I could watch one more game of cricket fully with him - am not sure if he will ever be strong enough to do that actually.
The summer holidays through the early 1990's were all spent at my Thatha's house. As soon as I finished my last exam, I would pack my bags and head off straight to his house. I would never ask my mom or dad - it was almost a given that the summer would be spent in Thatha's house. I used to stay there for the entire 3 months and play endlessly with my bunch of friends in and around the flats. Cricket, Scotland Yard, Cards, Chess, Video games, cars .. the list is endless. We were a bunch of 10 kids who used to spend the entire summer at one flat or the other playing all through the day until 8 in the evening. My Thatha and Paati would entertain each and every one of my friends and they all loved the care and affection that they showered with. Even yesterday, when my long time friend came calling on me, he did not forget to ask me how Delhi Thatha and Paati were. Such was the impression they left on our minds.
The other most amazing thing that happened every year was their gift to me on my birthday. They would unfailingly come home and see me first thing on my birthday and give me an envelope which said 'To Chi. Kalyan' on his 'n th birthday' - "with love Delhi Thatha and Delhi Paati". Paati would give me my favorite Caramilk chocolates and Ravalgon toffees that I used to share with Thatha and not Paati because she was diabetic. As I type this, I realized that this used to happen every year up until 2008 - a reflection of the fact that their health has steadily deteriorated since then. As I grew up and started spending a lot of time with my friends in school and college, the visits to my Thatha and Paati reduced gradually. The number of times that I used to talk to them or see them became very few and somewhere along the way I got all busy and my visits to their house would be for Diwali, New Year, Saraswathi Pooja or some other occasion when mom's family got together. Why it was like this, I will never have an answer but I guess its just that I was growing up into an adult and there were so many things that occupied my mind. But every time they used to come home or I used to visit them, I could see the longing in their eyes, the deep joy and the affection they would shower on me when they saw me.
In the last 2 years a lot has changed. They are no longer able to move out of their house on their own. They are unable to travel anywhere or take care of themselves like they used to. Thatha's knees which were always a source of trouble for him gave away completely. Paati's diabetes which she fought gamely for over 30 years is now winning the battle against her. Thatha's memory which used to be razor sharp and alert to everything that each one of us were doing has started to fail him. Their hearing prowess has declined alarmingly and they are much smaller and shriveled than the images in my mind from 10 years ago. What remains though is the will power and the desire to live and take joy in the happiness of the people around them. This is the greatest lesson that I have ever learnt from my Thatha and Paati. Their ability to participate and involve themselves in all the things happening around them, their practical & pragmatic ways, their open mindedness and the spirit of life that they embodied are some of the pearls of wisdom that they have passed on to me in their own inimitable way.
My 90 year old Delhi Thatha has seen so much of life and all its ups and downs. As he continues to fight and carry on the spirit that is so quintessential to him, I pray that he and Paati are able to sustain the reserves of their will power and indomitable strength to bless their pet grandson 's wedding. I cannot write anymore because I am truly overcome by a wave of emotion from the memories of the last 20 years that have offered me a lesson on how to live life. Its something that I will carry through the rest of the time that I live.
On my way back home and once inside the house, I just lay silently as 20 years of memories locked in the deepest parts of my mind came rushing through. Every little thing about my time with Thatha and their lovely house in Besant Nagar came flashing through like a movie. The minutest of details and the conversations all came back to life. I really curse myself sometimes for having this ability to remember events and conversations in such graphic and vivid style. In moments like this one, it made me uncontrollably emotional as I realized that here was a 90 year old man, my very dear Delhi Thatha as I called him, who was now reduced to a shadow of his former self - the Thatha I knew from 15-20 years back. The scenes running through made me cry in the solitude of my room and I felt that I should let this happen - let the emotion take over.
My earliest memories of 'Delhi' Thatha - its a name that I gave him because he lived in Delhi from the time I knew, were from 1987. It was the year when my mom had come down to Chennai for a hernia operation and I was staying at my grandparents place in Delhi's Sheik Sarai locality. They took such great care of me and doted me with so much love and affection that when my mom came back to Delhi after the operation I was asking her who she was. Its a story that is retold even today when we all get together in the family and talk about the Delhi days. After that my dad got a transfer to Chennai in the summer of 1988 and it was followed by the retirement of Delhi Thatha from his long and distinguished service in 1989 after which he also came down to his house in Chennai, Besant Nagar. It was a moment of great joy for me since they were my 'preferred' grandparents and I was their 'pet' grandson. I was thrilled and elated upon their arrival and I clearly remember bugging and pestering my mom to take me to their house the moment they arrived from Delhi.
My next most unforgettable memory of Delhi Thatha was his fiat Premier Padmini car that I would get into at the least given opportunity and go for a drive. Thatha was an outstanding driver with an enormous level of concentration. And I would sit in his front seat and silently observe the way he used to drive so skillfully. I would never forget the car because in 1989 when my other grandpa (dad's father) passed away, it was Delhi Thatha who broke the news to me and my brother. He told us that something had taken place and we would no longer be seeing 'Madras' Thatha (the name because he had lived in Madras ever since I knew). I did not understand what he meant and I clearly remember sitting in the Fiat car on the way to the flat asking him a zillion questions about what happened to the other Thatha. Over the next day, as Madras Thatha's funeral was being conducted, I realized the enormity of what had happened and developed high fever and severe vomitting. It was 'Delhi' Thatha who carried me on his then broad shoulders as I was sobbing uncontrollably and took me in his arms and cajoled me for hours on end. Whenever I looked back at this incident, the one thing that struck me was the mental fortitude and strength that he possessed. Madras Thatha also happened to be his close friend for many many years at the Presidency College in Chennai. The way he handled and kept his emotions to himself during the course of such a loss astounded me then and even now.
Delhi Thatha is a man of principles. I can safely say that he has never spoken a lie ever and is the most principled man that I have ever come across. I have heard tales of his work ethic and unflinching commitment to his job from my mom. He would never take a single day off from work in spite of all the threats from the dakus of the Chambal Valley and report to work at the construction site of the government irrigation dam. Such a thing was unheard of but that was Thatha. He could be strong as a mountain in the gravest of times. He is also a very devout person. He is an expert at Vedas and I remember the volumes of texts and cassettes at his table, the notes that he used to so diligently take in his post retirement life which he devoted to the study of the Vedas and Upanishads.
The one thing that we both love is cricket. Back in the 1990's, Thatha was one of the first few people to have cable televison at their homes. This meant all the cricket matches anywhere in the world were beamed live in your living room. Whenever there was a match, he knew that his dearest grandson would come dashing down well in advance before the first ball was bowled. He knew it was me at the door and would immediately have my favorite chair ready. We watched so many matches together, in particular the summer tournaments that happened in Sharjah, Singapore and the tournaments in Toronto. In fact, in the later years when I started watching cricket matches with my friends in school and college, my mom used to tell me that Delhi Thatha would call once in a while and ask if I was coming over to see the match. I just wish I could watch one more game of cricket fully with him - am not sure if he will ever be strong enough to do that actually.
The summer holidays through the early 1990's were all spent at my Thatha's house. As soon as I finished my last exam, I would pack my bags and head off straight to his house. I would never ask my mom or dad - it was almost a given that the summer would be spent in Thatha's house. I used to stay there for the entire 3 months and play endlessly with my bunch of friends in and around the flats. Cricket, Scotland Yard, Cards, Chess, Video games, cars .. the list is endless. We were a bunch of 10 kids who used to spend the entire summer at one flat or the other playing all through the day until 8 in the evening. My Thatha and Paati would entertain each and every one of my friends and they all loved the care and affection that they showered with. Even yesterday, when my long time friend came calling on me, he did not forget to ask me how Delhi Thatha and Paati were. Such was the impression they left on our minds.
The other most amazing thing that happened every year was their gift to me on my birthday. They would unfailingly come home and see me first thing on my birthday and give me an envelope which said 'To Chi. Kalyan' on his 'n th birthday' - "with love Delhi Thatha and Delhi Paati". Paati would give me my favorite Caramilk chocolates and Ravalgon toffees that I used to share with Thatha and not Paati because she was diabetic. As I type this, I realized that this used to happen every year up until 2008 - a reflection of the fact that their health has steadily deteriorated since then. As I grew up and started spending a lot of time with my friends in school and college, the visits to my Thatha and Paati reduced gradually. The number of times that I used to talk to them or see them became very few and somewhere along the way I got all busy and my visits to their house would be for Diwali, New Year, Saraswathi Pooja or some other occasion when mom's family got together. Why it was like this, I will never have an answer but I guess its just that I was growing up into an adult and there were so many things that occupied my mind. But every time they used to come home or I used to visit them, I could see the longing in their eyes, the deep joy and the affection they would shower on me when they saw me.
In the last 2 years a lot has changed. They are no longer able to move out of their house on their own. They are unable to travel anywhere or take care of themselves like they used to. Thatha's knees which were always a source of trouble for him gave away completely. Paati's diabetes which she fought gamely for over 30 years is now winning the battle against her. Thatha's memory which used to be razor sharp and alert to everything that each one of us were doing has started to fail him. Their hearing prowess has declined alarmingly and they are much smaller and shriveled than the images in my mind from 10 years ago. What remains though is the will power and the desire to live and take joy in the happiness of the people around them. This is the greatest lesson that I have ever learnt from my Thatha and Paati. Their ability to participate and involve themselves in all the things happening around them, their practical & pragmatic ways, their open mindedness and the spirit of life that they embodied are some of the pearls of wisdom that they have passed on to me in their own inimitable way.
My 90 year old Delhi Thatha has seen so much of life and all its ups and downs. As he continues to fight and carry on the spirit that is so quintessential to him, I pray that he and Paati are able to sustain the reserves of their will power and indomitable strength to bless their pet grandson 's wedding. I cannot write anymore because I am truly overcome by a wave of emotion from the memories of the last 20 years that have offered me a lesson on how to live life. Its something that I will carry through the rest of the time that I live.
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